Professor Voldy Gets Dirty
by remuslives
Summary: What if Voldemort had gotten the D.A.D.A. post all those years ago? What if it was his true calling? Goof fic for Wayne's birthday.


**What if Voldemort had gotten the D.A.D.A. post all those years ago? What if it was his true calling?**

**A/N: Happy Birthday to my wonderful hubby, Wayne! I love you!**

Luna sighed, she couldn't believe she had gotten detention again. Of all her seven years at Hogwarts, she had never gotten in such trouble. She was pretty sure it was the dingletrots causing the mix up.

Every week lately, while in Professor Voldemort's class, he claimed to catch her at something mischievous, whether it be attempting to hex a fellow student or cheat on an exam. Luna knew she was guilty of none of these things. However, she couldn't fault her kind Defense professor; he would never make up such lies. She could hardly even imagine the gentle man swatting at a nargle.

So, yet again, she entered his office following supper.

"Ah, Miss Lovegood. So nice of you to join us." Professor Voldemort grinned at her, motioning her over to the prepared desk.

"Us?" She glanced around the room, seeing no one else.

He grunted noncommittally and narrowed his eyes at her impatiently.

Shrugging, the girl sat at the table, knowing what was expected of her for the next hour. As she picked up the first balloon, her teacher relaxed into his chair. She licked the open end once, as was her habit, to deter flipdils, before placing it between her teeth.

Slowly, she drew in a deep breath, ignoring the stretch of her shirt across her chest at the action. She blew evenly into the opening, letting her hand slide easily down the long slim balloon as it grew. Done, she knotted the end and placed it in the large container left strictly for that purpose. Wetting her plump lips, she retrieved the next balloon and repeated the process.

As always, she was aware of the strange fixation her professor had with her during detentions. He kept his eyes glued to her except for the rare occasion when his head would momentarily hang backwards, his eyes shut.

On one such occasion, she heard a strange sound, that she couldn't quite identify. Glancing his direction, she saw his mouth open in a silent cry. Curious, she ceased the balloon activity and settled for watching her teacher jerk in his chair.

Apparently, the odd spasm passed quickly, because he looked back at her with a smirk.

"Would you like some extra credit, Miss Lovegood?" he panted.

"Oh, yes. I would really appreciate that." Because of all the detentions, she was falling behind.

"Come close, Little One." Immediately, she hopped to her feet and pranced up to his desk. "Lie down." She followed his instructions without hesitation. "Unbutton your blouse." He hummed appreciatively when she revealed a brilliant blue bra. "Very nice. Remove your skirt." She wiggled it passed her hips. "Close your eyes."

Obeying without question, Luna felt excitement race down her spine. Soft hands gripped her hips and urged her to flip over. Once on her belly, those same hands, drug her to the edge of the desk so that her feet were on the floor. Before she could second guess her position, her knickers were stripped away and she felt something small but firm pressing against her.

She would have liked to moan in pleasure, but really there wasn't much to be had. The man was singularly untalented. No matter the angle she adjusted to, he just couldn't hit the right spot. Getting bored, she considered blowing up a few more balloons while she waited. But it wasn't meant to be, her professor tapped her a few more times before giving an almighty cry.

She felt a few tear drops on her shoulder. Looking, she saw the tears, streaking a grease mark down her arm. Furrowing her brow, she glanced behind her to see Professor Snape wiping the wetness from his cheeks. Beside her, Professor Voldemort finished himself off with his hand and extracting a few fingers from Snape's.

Standing up straight and locating her clothes, Luna questioned them innocently before exiting the office. "Does this mean I get extra credit for Potions as well?"

**The End.**

**Wayne, I hope it was icky enough for you. Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review.**


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